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Survivor: Borneo

Feb 5, 2011 by srgeman

The primary reason I came to this site is because of my love for the TV show Survivor. I've seen every season, and as such am a bit of an obsessive super fan. With over 21 seasons and three hundred contestants, you might assume I'd have a lot to say about the show, and if so you'd be right. I've decided to post my thoughts for each individual season, and to do that I have to start with the original.

Survivor: Borneo premiered May 31st on CBS, and lasted until August. It was originally a summer show, not expected to really bring in the ratings, and to probably be forgotten after one or two seasons. As such, the cast we got was a lot...different then the casts of the later season, but I'll explain why in a bit.

The show began with sixteen people being "shipwrecked" off the coast of Borneo. They were divided into two tribes, Tagi and Pagong, and given five minutes to gather as much stuff off of their ship before being forced to paddle to their separate beaches. Unlike later seasons, they already a good number of supplies like knives, fish traps, and canned goods, but no flint to make fire. As such, for those who've watched later seasons and then decide to watch this one, this will be the first of many things that will strike viewers as odd.

The arrival of the two camps highlighted the differences of the two. The Tagi's arrived chaotically, and went to work on their shelter chaotically, but they all worked on something. They actually did stuff, and took this thing seriously. The Tagi's were made up of

Sonja Christopher: One of three old people, designated scapegoat
Stacy Stillman: Lawyer who would one day sue the show because she was a sore loser
Dirk Been: Dairy Farmer, one of many poor representations of Christianity this show would have
Sean Kenniff: Doctor, moron who used the Alphabet Voting Strategy
Susan Hawk: Even sorer loser then Stacy
Rudy Boesch: Single most awesome Navy Seal their is
Kelly Wigglesworth: River rafting guide, first to begin the tradition of people sucking at whatever their real life job is in the game.
Richard Hatch: Over rated strategist, but still awesome

When the Pagongs arrived, did they immediately get to work? No! They spent time getting to know each other, they spent time hanging out, and even when they did get to work, we only saw four of them really working their asses off. The other four did little to nothing. The Pagongs are made up of:

B.B. Andersen: Voted off way to soon.
Ramona Gray: Blazing the trail for other contestants to come on the show and get horribly sick almost immediately.
Joel Klug: Designated moron, voted off for baffling reasons.
Gretchen Cordy: Judgmental idiot with her head in the clouds, should have gone sooner.
Greg Buis: The single most annoying player this season.
Jenna Lewis: Big mouthed chick, does oddly well in All Stars.
Gervase Peterson: The reason Joel got voted off, is lazy and yet still earns most peoples respect.
Colleen Haskell: The first contestant to use the under-the-radar strategy, fairly boring and should have been eliminated sooner.

Over the next 18 days, the survivors compete in 10 challenges, four reward and 6 immunity. You'll remember this because the host, Jeff Probst, never shuts up about it. For some reason, in the first season they felt they needed Probst to remind the audience of every little thing, no matter how obvious or stupid, or how many times we'd heard it before.

Each immunity challenge is won by the tribe that lost it before, with Pagong winning the first, and sending three people home from each tribe in this order.

Tagi: Sonja
Pagong: B.B.
Tagi: Stacy
Pagong: Ramona
Tagi: Dirk
Pagong: Joel.

Of these, the only confusing one is Joel, who was voted off because of sexist comments Gervase made. Yes really. Incidentally, before Joel was voted off, he suggested that when the two tribes merged, the five Pagongs form an alliance to pick the Tagi's off. Gretchen, master of missing the point, states that she thinks people should be voted off based on "merit", and that the other tribe wont vote in an alliance. Thoughts like this make me want to put my head into a wall, because this is a GAME! You don't win a game base on merit, you win it based on lying and manipulation!

Anyways, over the course of the first 18 days, we get to see further differences of the two tribes. Tagi's tribe is hard working, serious, and with the exception of Sean and Dirk, are willing to make an alliance to stay alive. They take all of this seriously, and are for the most part, more interesting to watch. Their camp is better maintained, they eat better, and while they don't all like each other they still work together.

The Pagongs are different. They love hanging out with each other, love having fun, and as such they get rid of the only one who really wants to work first, B.B. Their camp is a mess, especially as time goes on, and they don't seem to take anything seriously. Most of the Pagongs are annoying and annoy me to no end, in particular Greg Buis.

Greg, oh God how I hate Greg. This moron is a camera mugging jackass every time we see him. Any time he speaks it's to say the fucking obvious ("rats are rats"), or the numbingly stupid ("If people are voting in alliances, vote me off soon"). Thankfully, shit head went soon after he said that.

Anyways, Pagong was a tribe of fun loving nimrods, many of whom didn't realize that this was a game that they were trying to win until after it was too late for them to win. I read somewhere that Jeff Probst himself wasn't particularly fond of the Pagongs, they didn't take things seriously, they showed up to Tribal Council late, etc., but I can't verify that so it may not be true.(I have since verified that at their first tribal council, the Pagongs all voted for Jeff Probst, and that the production team wasn't sure what to do about Greg because he kept screwing things up. What a group of morons.)

After 19 days of living apart, the ten remaining survivors were told they had hit the half way point, and it was finally time for the merge. Sean and Jenna are sent off to a beach with nice beds and lobsters to decide on the obvious, that Pagong will got to Tagi beach and they need a new name. Oddly, despite this decision taking five minutes, they spend all night there, not quiet willing to go back to their tribe shelters and spend the night in the rain.

The two tribes merge on Tagi beach and become the new tribe, Rattana. The Pagongs, being stupider then a sack of coconuts, do not consider for a second that the Tagi's might be viewing all of them like targets at a firing range. Instead, they just want to do their Pagong thing, hang out, have fun, look cute on camera etc.

At the first individual immunity challenge, we are greeted with the first individual immunity necklace. Sometimes these look cool, sometimes stupid, and in the case of Fiji, just plain lazy. The Borneo necklace is a talisman with a painted on face, which while it does look cheesy, I can't help but love. Too my eternal irritation though, Greg wins the first individual immunity, so he's safe at the first vote.

The first tribal council is again very telling. Before the tribal council, Sean (being a moron) had told the Pagongs flat out he didn't believe their was an alliance, and Jenna decided to vote on Merit. As such, when they finally went to their first tribal council, the voting ended up schizophrenic. Six people voted at complete random, giving six people one vote each. The Tagi 4 consisting of Rich, Kelly, Sue, and Rudy though kept their votes together, and sent Gretchen packing.

Afterwards, the Pagongs put their four heads and three brains together, and realized, the Tagi's targeted Gretchen! They might be coming after us! Thankfully they weren't the only ones pointing out the fucking obvious. Dr. Sean, making you wonder how the hell he became a neurologist, stated "The only reason to vote off Gretchen was strategy!" No, really Sean?

At this point in time, Kelly of the alliance had started getting closer with the girls of Pagong, foreshadowing how she would eventually jump ship for 2 votes, but still vote with the alliance for 3 votes.

At the next immunity challenge, Greg thankfully lost and was picked as the next to go. Now, at this point, the Pagongs can rally, vote together and get Sean's vote, take out the Tagis. So what do they do? If you said, decide to vote out Jenna, you're correct!

The tribal council that night was a particularly interesting one with Jeff Probst flat out asking Sue if their was an alliance. Sue couldn't respond, and when Kelly asked she avoided the question. You'd have thought this was an indication to the Pagongs that something was wrong, but you forget how damn stupid the Pagongs are. In my favorite tribal council of the season, Greg is kicked out with 6 votes. Unfortunately he made the jury, so I'd be seeing him again, damn it.

After this, the Pagongs were doomed. Gervase was the next target, seeing as he was more athletic then Colleen and Jenna, plus his lazy ass annoyed Sue. In order to save their team mate, Jenna and Colleen decided to form a counter alliance, eliminate Rich, and to get Kelly on their side.

Now Kelly had decided to leave the Tagi alliance and get out Sean. Not Rich, Sean. This annoyed Sue to no end, and I think I understand why. Kelly never really left the alliance, she just chose not to vote against her friends. Despite all her ramblings about doing the right thing and having values, she was still more then willing to be part of the alliance when it benefited her.

Much to the irritation of the Tagi alliance, Gervase won immunity. So, the target was switched, from Gervase to Jenna. Despite her, Colleen, and Gervases best efforts (or rather, because of their lack of effort) Richard only got three votes. Kelly voted for Sean, and because of Sean and his stupid alphabet strategy, Jenna got four votes and a seat on the jury.

Without Jenna, the last two Pagongs were done. It took six days to happen, but they were doomed from that moment on. Gervase and Colleen struggle to stay in the game, and find essentially no help from anyone, Kelly included. Kelly states that she "never wanted to be an alliance" a head scratching comment given that she and Stacy formed the very first alliance in the history of Survivor (a piece of trivia for you). Sue and Rich formed a final 2 deal, as did Sue and Kelly, something that would lead to the Snakes and Rats speech. Gervase failed to win the next immunity, Kelly voted with her alliance, and he was sent packing.

Now only one Pagong remains, Colleen who managed to sneak under the radar, and be one of the dullest contestants of the first season. Kelly's flip-flopping and Colleen's quietness cause the Tagi alliance to decide to vote Kelly or Sean out before Colleen. Kelly though one of many immunities, and the Tagis decided to finish off Pagong. Colleen was sent home with 4 votes (the 4th coming from Sean).

By now, Sue no longer trusts Kelly like she did. The day after Colleen goes, she and Kelly got into a fight, screaming at each other over...does it really matter? Sue feels Kelly stabbed her in the back, which I never got because Kelly didn't vote for Sue, and was never planning on voting for Sue. In fact, this fight is one of the things that would contribute to Sue losing.

Sean realized by now he was on the outside of a four person alliance. Yes, it took him this long to realize it. He also decided that this was a game for a million dollars, and he wanted to win. Jesus, this man is even stupider then I remember. Anyways, in a move shocking to no one, Kelly again won immunity and Sean was sent home.

By now, it's down to four. Kelly, and the other members of Tagi. Richard and Rudy have made a final two alliance, and Sue just seethes. Had Sue and Kelly kept their deal, it would have been a two-two split, and we would have had had our first permanent tie. The survivors would have drawn rocks, and by the time of Paschal that stupid practice would have been fucking retired.

At the next challenge, Kelly won immunity again, and thus Richard and Rudy decided to target Sue. Now, the first vote had ended with a tie. Had Sue and Kelly not had their big fight, the second vote would have ended in a tie, and Rudy would have gone him because of the purple rock of death. Kelly would have won immunity again, taken Sue, and won the game (because no one would have voted for Sue). Instead, Sue's past stupidity and Kelly’s current stupid come back to bite them when Kelly changes her vote from Rich to Sue. With that, Sue went home.

The next day was the first long "memory walk" where they remember their past survivors who were voted off. Now, while this is stupid as hell, I gotta admit I love it. You rarely remember the pre-jury survivors, so this helps, plus it's a good way to say good bye to the current survivor cast.

The final immunity was an endurance challenge, Hands On A Hard Idol, who ever can keep their hands on the immunity idol the longest will win immunity. It's here that Richard Hatch made a move that even I have to admit is strategically brilliant.

Now I haven't talked much about Rich because I believe him to be an overrated player, and every other person who talks about Survivor talks about Rich. However, this move was brilliant. He decided to throw the immunity challenge, and virtually guaranteed himself a victory.

Rich had a final two deal with Rudy, but would have chucked Rudy in a heart beat because Rudy would win votes against him. Kelly though he knew he had a chance against. If he won immunity, and voted off Rudy, he would lose Rudy's vote, and if he took Rudy he would loose. By throwing the challenge, he knew Kelly would be able to outlast Rudy, and would vote Rudy off. This way he would keep Rudy's vote, and with his, Sues Greg’s, and possibly Sean’s, he knew he could win.

Kelly did win immunity, and eliminated Rudy, taking Rich with her to face the jury. The final tribal council is admittedly a bit of a snoozer, except for two things.

The first was Sues infamous Rats and Snakes speech. Their are two kinds of Rats and Snake speeches, the Sue variety, and the Eliza variety, which I'll cover when we get to Survivor Vanuatu. The Sue variety comes from when a contest is angry at one of the finalists for having the audacity to betray them and play the game! How dare they cost that juror their chance at a million dollars!? Sue's own speech is cruel, vindictive, and makes her come across as even less mature then most of the Pagongs. That being said, it is one very memorable moment.

The second memorable moment was from Greg, further reminding you what a dumb ass he was when he asked Rich and Kelly to pick a number between 1 and 10. Truth be told, he was going to vote for Rich anyway, but this just made him look stupid and to lazy to think of a question. What a jackass.

In the final vote, Kelly picked up Colleen, Jenna, and Gervases votes. Rich though was rewarded for his better strategy, and although he was obnoxious and a liar, he admitted to it. Sean, Sue, Rudy, and Greg voted for him, making him the first winner of Survivor.

The Greg Buis Memorial Chucklehead Award: Each season, one player stands out in my mind, one player who I desperately want to punch. They annoy, they hog the camera, they say stupid shit, and this is my way of rewarding (or punishing them), by awarding them the Greggy Award. The first Greggy goes to its namesake, Greg Buis. A man so retarded, the fact that he puts his shoes on right each day is an accomplishment.

End Of Season Thoughts:
Survivor Borneo is the season that started it all...and has aged horribly. It's still a fun season to watch, but a lot of seasons are better, and it's easy to see why. CBS really seemed to not know what should make it into the show and what shouldn't. As such, you get shots of people walking on a beach, people checking fish traps, people talking about stuff you don't care about, and it goes on and on. In addition, the cast is not one of the most interesting, with most of the Pagongs being more grating then entertaining.

The challenges also leave a lot to be desired, most of them being weird (like the final group immunity, an army obstacle course that seems designed so those doing it would be unable to work together). The rewards for reward challenges are also fairly stupid, giving us rewards like fresh fruit, a slice of pizza and a phone call home, and being taken to a bar to watch the first five minutes of the first episode of Survivor.

The music is also weird, including lyrical stuff (where a chorus says "Pause" several times). The opening credit montage also is a bit different from others. Usually, the opening credits just show pictures of the survivors with pictures of the environment, but for the first intro, they included the words MAROONED in flaming letters, and other super cheesy touches. As such, the intro is cheesy as hell, but I love it none the less.

Also for this season, we have a verb to add to the Survivor Lexicon: Pagonging. A Pagonging is when two tribes merge on equal, or greater numbers, and the stronger tribe picks off the weaker. Oddly, if Joel's idea had been embraced, this verb would be Tagid. Instead, it's Pagonging.

The first season of Survivor has not aged well, but is still responsible for a lot the things we would come to love about this series. Some of the little things Jeff Probst would eventually do started here, like his direct questions and his saying "The Tribe Has Spoken". While the show is a bit dull now, I recommend all see it. The father of reality television, and completely awesome.

Comments

Wow i really like this one.. awesome blog! cant wait to read the rest.

Sent by TheSneakFromManc,Feb 5, 2011

I read this all *feels like a loser*

Sent by Tayvi,Feb 5, 2011

excellent add me back as a friend so i can read ur other blogs

well done

Sent by pikasadge,Feb 5, 2011

-11

for this: Colleen Haskell: The first contestant to use the under-the-radar strategy, fairly boring and should have been eliminated sooner.

Sent by Adamy217,Feb 5, 2011

even if it was a deadlock tie in the early seasons they would have went to past votes

Sent by dolphinsoccer4,May 24, 2011

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Survivor: Borneo

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