After two seasons, Survivor was at an all time high, among viewers and (debatably) in terms of quality. Many people were excited to see the third season, Survivor Africa...only to be disappointed.
Reasons have varied, but most people have said that Africa contained less memorable moments, less memorable contestants, and had a been there/done that feeling. Before Thailand, this was considered "The bad season", due to the reasons I listed. Thankfully, Thailand was just around the corner to show us what BAD really is.
I never thought that myself. I actually liked this best of the first three seasons, and it's still one of my favorites. The cast was made up of several dynamic personalities, some you loved, and some you hated. The challenges were good, their were plenty of memorable moments, and the finale was good (unlike in Australia.) Still, it's going to vary with everyone.
Survivor: Africa begins with a truck being driven through Kenya. Right now we know nothing about these survivors other then they're wearing red and yellow. They're escorted off of the truck, and given a small amount of supplies before heading off in the directions of their respective camps.
In yellow, we have Boran, made up of:
Kim Johnson: The 50 year old Amber of Boran
Clarence Black: Voted off first, but didn't leave until the merge. One of two contestants picked by last seasons winner Tina to go far.
Diane Ogden: An embarrassment to the post office and curly haired people.
Ethan Zohn: Not Ethan Zorn, pro-soccer player, great guy
Lex van den Burge: Hypocrite at large, in this and All Stars
Tom Buchanan: Smarter then the average good ol' boy
Jessie Camacho: Seemed nice, got sick early and was gone.
Kelly Goldsmith: Smart, and screwed for it.
The Borans, showing a level of intelligence I would expect from Pagongs, not a winning tribe, decide the water they're carrying is to heavy and dump it. Diane the mail carrier, almost immediately gets them lost and ends up to tired to make the journey. Think of Diane as the Debb of this season, just minus Debbs work ethic.
Meanwhile, the Samburus manage to get off and find their camp without fighting, or anything interesting happening. The Samburus in red consist of:
Kim Powers: The Samburu Amber
Frank Garrison: Despite a bad first impression, a really good guy.
Teresa Cooper: The best player this season, easily. My favorite, so doomed to loose
Brandon Quinton:...I'll get to you in a minute
Lindsey Richter: Worthless in every way, but makes up for it by being whiney. One of two contestants picked by last seasons winner Tina to go far.
Silas Gaither: Online reviewers once dubbed him to repugnant to be in the Hitler Youth Elite.
Carl Bilancione: Ended up sick early on, though most of that was edited off. Not much to say.
Linda Carver: Nuttier then a Nutrageous bar. Yet, cynical and snarky, so I liked her.
While Samburu (or as they'll soon be known, Samboohoo) didn't do anything of note BEFORE getting to camp, when they arrived the young ones started doing what they would do for the next several days. Whine about working, whine about not having gourds (they broke theirs), whined about being in Africa, etc.
The only one of the older group who stands out is Frank, who immediately begins barking orders, earning the ire of Brandon and Kim P. Linda also begins to stand out due to her talk about "Mother Africa" and respecting "The spirits". Get used to this, Linda is crazier then a bus full of Ghandia.
The Borans discover their water hole, or rather, their mud pond. For some reason, this season the contestants do not have wells to get water from, but little ponds full of mud. The Borans can't get water, and Jessie starts to puke. At Samburu, they find a telescope in their med-kit(?), and use the glass to make a fire to boil mud-water in.
Boran decides that, unable to boil water, they'll eat a can of cherries and use the juice to keep hydrated. While they pass around a can of cherries, Clarence rather obviously takes two instead of one. He isn't even subtle, Ethan sees him doing it.
Anyways, it's on to an immunity challenge/reward challenge. The reward is flint, which for Boran means fire and drinking water. The challenge its self involves moving a cart with a giant torch on it, while lighting other torches, in a race to the finish line.
While Boran takes an early lead, they fall behind during a sandy part of the race, and completely fall out of it when Diane collapses. Samburu wins, and Boran is going to tribal council, where Diane most likely will be voted out.
But wait! Even though Diane looks like she's going to go, someone does something so stupid it sends them home immediately, even though they're still in the game. While back at the camp, all the Borans go to get water, while Clarence watches Diane. When they return, they learn Clarence opened a can of green beans, feed a few to Diane, ate the rest himself, and threw the can away.
This doomed Clarence. This was the moment his game ended. While he lasted till the merge, he was done for. Already having taken two cherries, he took a can of beans without asking, how could anyone trust him after that? They couldn't. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the tribe (and Tom in particular) were pissed off.
At tribal council, Diane and Tom vote against Clarence, while everyone else votes for Diane. The message is clear though, Clarence is here because of his strength, but the moment they don't need him, he's going home. Not only that, but due to Tom voting for him at this and the next tribal council, he'll have votes against him. If their is ever a tie involving him, those votes will send him home.
As the Boran’s return home after eliminating Diane, Clarence goes to various people to kiss ass, and try to get in their good graces. Jessie, queen of vomit, refuses to even give him the time of day and it’s clear no one trusts him. Not only that, he thinks that the primary reason he got votes was because he gave Diane beans, rather then the fact he ate the rest himself, and then (badly) tried to cover it up! We see this kind of idiocy a lot in some season. We’ll see more when we hit the merge.
At Samboohoo, they decide they need to, you know, build a fucking shelter. The older half of the tribe (Frank, Teresa, Carl, and Linda) start working, while the younger half (Lindsey, Brandon, and Kelly P.) complain about Frank being bossy. Silas sits out and watches.
Next comes the reward challenge (earning blankets and other supplies), which Boran looses in part due to Kim J. being older and weaker then the others. Thankfully there is little target on her back due to Jessie being sick, and Clarence being an idiot.
The immunity challenge soon comes, and it’s one I find particularly nasty, doing shots of cows blood mixed with milk. Much like past gross food challenges, it comes down to a tie. Boran looses due to Kelly being unable to down a large glass of pure blood, sending Boran back to tribal council.
Once again Clarence gets mentioned as a target, but the others say he has proven himself. In fact, he’s proven himself so well that Tom votes for him again, pointing out that like him or not, he can never fully be trusted. In spite of this, Jessie goes home due to being sick (I suspect she had dysentery).
By this point in time at Samboohoo, the tribal lines are clear. The old will never vote against each other, the young will never vote against each other, and Silas is a wild card, though he’s made deals with both groups. They haven’t engaged much in scheming due to them not loosing a challenge, much less having to go to tribal. That’s all about to change.
On early day seven, as the elders get water, they realize Silas is playing both sides. The youth realize they hate the older ones for working hard and being old. Linda rambles on about spirits, unable to realize it bugs the hell out of her tribe mates and the viewers. While the older group gets water, Brandon of the youth league cook mush for breakfast, then eat extra amounts so the older group wont have as much. This is stupid for two reasons. One, it means you’ve shown yourself to be conniving and untrustworthy, something intelligent people in your own alliance will note (so just Kim P.). Second, it means half your tribe will be hungry, weaker, and could loose challenges. Lindsey also makes beaded necklaces for her four friends, just to really drive home the point. About as subtle as a railroad spike through the head Lindsey.
The reward challenge is a favorite of mine, moving two large, colored boulders through flags to a final point in a race. The reward is the one that I still think gave Boran an edge, one hundred gallons of clean drinking water. Boran win (due to Samboohoo being unable to control their rock), and now…they don’t have to boil water. That’s enough for everyone to drink a gallon a day until the merge. Boran can remain better hydrated then Samboohoo, which is definitely important when it’s over one hundred degrees in the shade!
Nothing much happens after that, other then Silas sides with the Samboohoo Youth League, referred to as the SYL, against Teresa and the Army of Awesome, referred to as TAA. The immunity challenge is recycled from Borneo, make an SOS signal. Boran makes one using their mosquito nets dipped in bright paint, while Samboohoo just make a big SOS. The problem is the SOS so well matches the background, the first time I saw it I didn’t see it! I just saw a bunch of sticks!
Linda makes some very nutty comments about the idol not wanting to live in a house of conflict, and I start to wonder if Linda and JoAnna are related. Now though, Samboohoo needs to go to tribal council. TAA target Lindsey, whose sick, lazy, whiney, and a contender for the Greggy award. SYL targets Carl the dentist, who also is sick, but far worse, is rich in real life. This bugs me, money you have outside of the game shouldn’t have a baring on inside the game. Then again, if I were on Survivor, I would do the same thing probably.
The vote is deadlocked, and they go to a tie-breaker since neither have votes cast against them. To break the tie, they draw rocks…wait, this isn’t Marquesas and I’m not slamming my head into a wall. No, they answer trivia questions, something pretty lacking in tension. After a few questions, Lindsey gets one Carl misses, and Carl is sent home.
After this, the SYL take control of Samboohoo, which is about the worst thing that could happen to the tribe. The four SYL are lazy, complaining morons, and with them in charge, things go to shit. Let me just say this right now, there are some seasons of Survivor where your enjoyment will hinge on one element. For example, in Pearl Islands it hinges on if you like Rupert of the Outcasts, while in Tocantins it hinges on if you like Coach. The early part of Africa hinges on you finding the stuff with the SYL dramatic. If you don’t like TAA (now down to three), you’re going to find the early part of this season tedious as all hell. Thankfully, I find what happens to SYL so satisfying that I love this season so much more.
Anyway, TAA decides to stop working, and to see how SYL does on their own. They sleep, sleeping so long that when they wake up, they only have thirty minutes to get to their reward challenge. Silas tries to give a pep-talk that sounds like it was pieced together from bad movie lines. Linda, showing why I love her, starts making fun of Silas, then jumps up and down sarcastically proclaiming she wants to be part of the team.
Samboohoo manages to win the reward challenge (winning spices), and it’s a serious moral booster. When they get back, SYL notices their water reserves are almost used up since TAA stopped working. Do they learn from this? No, they go get water and whine the entire time. SYL then manages to break one of their few pots while boiling water, and I begin to wonder if any of these people will make it out alive!
I know I haven’t talked much about Boran now, but Boran isn’t doing anything. The biggest topics are Tom being unable to eat mush, and Kim J. being old. Part of the problem comes from Boran suddenly winning challenges, like the next immunity (Involving moving a house up and down a hill in pieces). Without loosing, we don’t see Boran much.
SYL calls TAA over, and decide it’s time for Silas to give another speech. He says that TAA all need to vote for only one of them, so if there is a tie, only one person in SYL will have votes against them. Lindsey whines, and Brandon tells TAA there is nothing in it for them. Actually, he tells them that SYL was going to say who was getting voted off, but TAA being ungrateful put a bad taste in his mouth! My God was a dick.
Unsurprisingly, TAA takes everything Silas said and pitches it in the trash-can. They then vote Silas, since all of them decided even if they loose, they want Silas to loose more so. In spite of the votes, Linda, her sprits, and her snark are sent packing.
The next episode begins with Silas going too the two remaining members of TAA and whining that they had the audacity to vote for him. They’re on a sinking ship, what was their logic, whine whine whine. Essentially, Teresa and Frank decided they’re going to loose, and they do not under any circumstance want Silas to win.
What comes next is something that would become a fixture of many seasons of Survivor, but at the time people thought it was something used to fix the game. They claimed it was a really unfair twist. Expect similar accusations in Thailand, Pearl Islands, Palau, Guatemala, Fiji, and Nicaragua.
Tree mail is sent to both tribes, to send three people too where they were first dropped off. Boran sends Lex, Tom, and Kelly. Samboohoo sends Silas, Teresa, and Frank. When they arrive, they find Jeff Probst, who tells them they’re now on the other tribe. He gives them their new buffs, and sends them on their merry way.
The new Samboohoo’s realize they’ve just traded The Fresh Prince for Good Times (twenty points to all who get that reference). The Samboohoo camp is a mess, their water hole is a mud hole, and Brandon claims they can’t find fire wood (which Lex and Tom find immediately). Meanwhile, Teresa and Frank are almost jumping for joy being at Boran, while Silas realizes he’s now on Survivor death row.
New Boran wins the first reward challenge (involving moving goats into pens), causing Lindsey to do something unexpected. To sit there and whine about how sad it is that Silas is on Boran, and that the new Samboohoo’s want to work. Silas meanwhile tries to get Ethan on his side, but Ethan ignores him. Clarence tries aligning with Silas, and decides he doesn’t trust him. Ouch.
Boran looses the next immunity challenge (they might have thrown it, though I doubt it), and are sent to tribal council. Silas tries to get Frank out, and the Boran’s decide to do the audience a favor and send his Royal Pain In The Ass home.
At Samboohoo, Kelly decides to try and find out which of the three whiners has votes cast against them. At the next reward challenge, Kim J. (who?) flashes hand signals, suggesting its Lindsey. If that weren’t subtle enough, Kelly walks into a conversation about Lindsey having votes against her. When Samboohoo looses the Immunity challenge, a tie between Lindsey and Big Tom ends with Lindsey gone.
It’s at this point the two tribes merge into a new tribe, Moto-Maji in green. The moment they merge they begin the immunity challenge, involving chaining your hand to a bucket of water above your head, and holding your arm up. Your arm drops, the bucket comes down. Boran out numbers Samboohoo six too four, but Clarence is the real target tonight. Jeff Probst tempts people to drop out with food, until it’s down to Clarence and Teresa.
Now, if you’re a smart person, you don’t drop out at all if you think you’re the target. Clarence though decides to gamble his fate on a game of rock-paper-scissors, which he looses. Without immunity, Clarence receives all but two votes at tribal council, his own vote, and Teresa’s.
Just a note on the individual immunity. While the last two looked like talismans, this one looks like a beaded rug for your neck. It’s one of the laziest immunities of the entire series, though still not the worst (an honor jointly shared by Thailand and Fiji). It doesn’t look like it would make you immune, it looks like a wall hanging.
What happens next is the move that sealed Brandon as one of the worst Survivors of all time. Teresa’s vote went to Lex, except he didn’t know that, he thought it came from Kelly. Being a calm, rational person, Lex flipped out and went on a freaking rampage. Kelly decides to do the smart thing, and tells the Samboohoo’s she’ll vote with them, giving them five votes to send Lex home. All it requires is Brandon to vote with Frank, which he won’t do.
Brandon, ah Brandon. I’m going to hold back my rant until I get to the Greg Buis Award section (which you will be receiving), and just say this. Had you voted with the Samboohoo’s, you would have gotten to the final four. Against Kim P. or even Frank, you could have won. Instead, you decided to vote with Lex because you just didn't like Frank. Sadly, Kelly is sent home, and Brandon seals his own fate.
After this, Brandon is much like Clarence, he’s been booted out. They just haven’t made it official. The other three Samboohoos don’t like Brandon, and the Borans don’t trust someone who would sell out his own alliance without a second thought. The only one who trusts him is Lex, and most of Lex’s tribe wonders if they trust Lex!
The next reward challenge is one where teams of two will run an obstacle course in order to win a movie date for the two of them. In a bit of perfect irony, the team of Brandon and Frank win. They spend their date watching Out Of Africa and having fun hating each other.
The next immunity ends without Brandon winning, and he and Lex decide to get rid of Frank. Everyone else on Moto-Maji says “Fuck that” and Brandon is voted out. In one beautiful moment, Kim P. votes for him, and then says she’s not sure if the two of them can still be friends due to his stupidity.
The next reward challenge is a favorite, the Survivor auction. It’s a bit blah except for a few things, Teresa getting into a bidding war over a hoagie, and Tom and Ethan buying a mystery dish that ends up being a full breakfast, complete with bacon (leading Tom to scream “He’s a Jew, he won’t eat it!).
It’s also apparent that Frank is the next target. He’s physically the strongest of the Samboohoos left, and his conservative opinions and ramblings tend to annoy those around him. Not so much that he has opinions, but that he doesn’t know to shut the fuck up. Still, you can tell Frank has a good heart, and when he looses the immunity challenge, you feel for the guy. He’s sent home by unanimous vote, after telling Teresa to vote for him.
Kim P. is the next to go, and that’s all I’m going to say. Her episode was like her, boring and forgettable. Kim P. was the Amber of Africa, not unpleasant, just kind of there. Their exact reasons for taking her out were…I have no idea. Teresa is better in challenges and smarter then Kim P., plus was better liked.
After this, Teresa is clearly next to go. Despite being easily the best strategist this season, she could never get the numbers, and only an immunity could save her. The next challenge is a reward, for which the prize is a Chevy Avalanche, which Lex wins. From that moment on, Lex’s game was doomed, he just didn’t know it.
Teresa scrambles, trying to talk to Ethan and Kim J. about how Lex has won so much, so if he looses immunity, he needs to go. It’s all for not though, as Lex win immunity. Despite her planning, Teresa can’t crack the alliance, and becomes the fifth member of the jury.
By now, we’ve reached the final four. Tom, Lex, and Ethan have made a final three deal, with Kim J. being the odd (and boring) woman out. Not that it really matters, Kim J. can’t win. She’s done nothing of note, so if she made it to the end, she’d earn second place.
Lex has grown annoyingly paranoid, convinced everyone is out to get him. Tom has grown sick of it, as has the viewing audience. The worst part is, he’s right. They are out to get him. (sigh)
The immunity challenge is Fallen Comrades, not really anything of note except…the producers got a question wrong. The final question (Which female Survivor has no piercings, including ears) is answered by Kim J., saying Kelly. Lex answers saying Lindsey, but is counted wrong. The truth is, both answers are correct. As such, Lex and Tom were awarded second place prizes instead of third and fourth. Why Tom since he guessed neither? No idea.
With immunity, Kim J. is safe and Lex the challenge threat is kept. Instead, they send Big Tom to the jury. Why not Lex? Once again, no idea.
The night before the final immunity challenge, Lex stays up half the night because he’s become sick. Since the final immunity challenge is traditionally endurance, guess how much being sick helps.
The next day the final three go on their remembrance walk, something as I’ve said I really enjoy, and are given a Samburu warrior ritual. They’re then coated in more braided crap that looks cooler then the actual individual immunity, and taken to their final challenge, Hands On A Hard Idol.
The three get standing, and Jeff Probst is there to tell them how hot it is, acting like Satan’s little helper. Ethan, the physically fit professional soccer player, is the first too fall, before the day gets very hot. As the day wears on, it’s clear that Lex is struggling and Kim J. is in the zone. Finally, Lex falls, essentially sealing his fate. Kim J. knows full well she can’t beat Ethan or Lex, so it’s time to decide who she likes more. At tribal council, she casts her vote, and Lex becomes the last member of the jury.
Before someone argues that Kim J could beat Lex, Lex would have Brandon, Frank, Ethan, and Toms votes. That’s four right there, while Kim J would only certainly have Kelly.
The final day in Africa begins with Ethan and Kim J reflecting on their time in Africa, basically padding out the run time. They choose not to torch their camp, which is too bad, I wanted to see that hut thing they had burn!
At the final tribal council, things go as you expect. Unlike the last two, this jury is not very bitter, and only one real question of note is asked, from Brandon of all people. Brandon asks who on the jury is least deserving too be in the final two. Kim J says Tom, and Ethan (showing why I love him) tells Brandon that Brandon doesn’t deserve to be in the final two. I’d argue he doesn’t deserve to be in Africa, but I digress.
The final vote occurs, with Kim P. and Brandon voting Kim J. It’s not even close to enough, as Kelly, Lex, Tom, Teresa, and Frank vote Ethan, making him the winner of Survivor Africa.
The Greg Buis Memorial Chucklehead Award: Oh God, I’ve been waiting for this. Brandon, you eternal loser. You are everything that is wrong with the gay community in a nut shell. You bitch about not being treated fair, but don’t treat others fair either. You claim to be a mastermind, yet the only the you masterminded was your own vote off. You were rude, lazy, inept, and made Jerri seem nice at times. Please collect your Greggy award, then shuffle off too extinction, you chapstick based life form.
End Of Season Thoughts: Survivor: Africa got a very negative reception when it premiered, and it’s easy to see why. It has a been there/done that feel to it, with Boran eliminating Samburu. So, at the time it could be seen as a bit of a let down.
As time has gone on though, Africa has aged very well. Unlike Borneo and Australia, we know who most of the cast are before they’re voted off. Several challenges introduced here are still used to this day. The cast is more interesting the Australia’s for the most part. Finally, it gave us the tribal swap, something still being used in Survivor.
If I had one major complaint, it’s that Teresa lost, but that’s just bad luck, not anything she did. Survivor: Africa is definitely worth a look, especially for people who found the first two season too dull But enough about Africa, now we get to take a look at the season that brought us back to an island, and gave us the most frequently playing Survivor of all time, Marquesas.
After two seasons, Survivor was at an all time high, among viewers and (debatably) in terms of quality. Many people were excited to see the third season, Survivor Africa...only to be disappointed.